Wings of Desire Ch-10

Like the purest snowflake,

Descending down on earth,

She is the princess,

She will not be hurt.

XANDER

Being so close to her was unnerving, even for me. When I leaned into her, I could feel her, take in her scent, hear her uneven heartbeat and feel the heat rising from her pink cheeks. It was overwhelming and I had to make a graceful exit after she pouted like a kid and made her even more adorable.

I made the mistake of reaching out and touching her. It shattered the restrain I built, it took massive power to hold in the urge to kiss her. But gratefully I realised that she was not totally unaffected by me. She blushed a lot and was not scared or nervous around me.

Knowing my nature and the feelings I had in extreme being around her was getting hard, hard to be so close and yet couldn’t hold her in my arms. I could have turned invisible again but that was not helping.

One week. I will allow myself to be ‘just friend’ and see where that leads me. Will she be as uncomfortable around me or will she accept me as a friend? Will she consider me as more than a friend? But what if she had some idea about me.

I was startled to hear that she saw me that night and she actually came to right conclusion. And from what I can see, she doubted that I was her guardian angel. Damn my eye colour. Will she scare away if she the power I hold, who I actually was and what all I have done? It was so much better playing human to her. I couldn’t allow my identity to be revealed.

But something told me she will never forget the eyes of her saviour.

I didn’t see for the rest of the school day. It was too dangerous to be around her after our magnetic interaction in library. I just sensed her emotions to see if she was alright. Sometimes in middle of class her heart did go wild but besides that she was fine. She was even excited for the bonfire tonight.

As the school ended, I noticed her walk towards her car with Brenna.

“Can’t you stay and watch me act?” Brenna requested.

“I have to help my sister. She is very temperamental in pregnancy. I have to be with her.” She said.

She was caring. She was fine with messing up her plans and takes care of her sister. This side of her character pleased me.

They drove back home talking about various things, Freya tactfully avoiding every question about me. Like expected Brenna had really nice words to say and so did Hazel. Even she didn’t like me, I was sure her friends’ elaborative description and adjectives used for me will make her like me.

And somehow the week passed. She was too busy with work and never once tried to talk to me.

We sat together in Chem and also I say behind her in maths but that was all. Our conversation was limited to hi’s and hello’s. I would have lost my mind and acted rashly if hadn’t been for her hidden actions.

Sometimes as I sat in library pretending to read I saw her looking at me with a slightly tilted head, a gesture so wonderful and innocent. It made me adore her, like a child.

I was stupid to think I could try this friend scenario. She was not out spoken with people and hated making small talks. She would never come up to me and start a conversation. And it made quite clear for me that I could not just be friends with her. I had whole other level of thoughts and feeling just by seeing her, enough to discard me from angel position.

When the week ended, I was like a drowning human who wasn’t able to breathe for too long and was dying due to short of breath. I was dying to be close to her and talk to her. It was clear she didn’t like me enough to miss me. But I wanted all her attention on me.

I was going to bonfire.

********

“I will pick you up at seven for the bonfire, wear something warm.” Brenna bid her farewell.

She hummed one of her favourite tunes. I heard her humming after a long time; she remained depressed after the accident. I wonder if she would be terrified if I told her what happened to those vile men. I usually avoid following her around her room, to avoid invasion of privacy. This was as far as I go and beyond that I heightened my senses to check her emotions from time to time.

Brenna was right on time. It was a minute past seven and she sounded the horn on her front door.

“Coming in a minute Bren”, her voice called out.

 She was helping her mother with something and then her mother instructed to be safe. Then she said something which I always loved, May the angels be with you. The door opened and she almost hopped outside. She was happy. And in the name of God, she was pretty. Her hair down, she had a white beanie over head making her look adorable.

A smile cross my face when I saw her giggle all excited and Brenna, Hazel joined in. She was wearing a caramel colored velvet jacket that complimented her vanilla like skin and again, the lustre from her necklace caught my eye.

After I saw her join the bonfire, I decided to make a slightly late entry to see if she missed me or even waited for me.

Near the warmth of the bonfire, she took of her beanie and the fire created the illusion as if her hair were red, on fire. Being an angel I was not cold, but I could feel the shiver building around me. Yet she was a beacon of warmth, her smile, her eyes everything.

She laughed and danced around the bonfire. Few girls came around to talk; her old acquaintances and some guys came too. I burned with rage enough to start another bonfire. But she merely smiled and never gave them a second thought. Much to my disappointment she was not missing me as much as I wanted and was enjoying too much.

I decided to lay low and watch her hidden from where I stood.

She danced and I watched. I watched her laughing, a laughter than gripped my heart in painful clutches, the heat colouring her cheeks beautifully reminding me how much I wanted to touch them. She drank and let go of her worries and burden she held in her mind, the incident of the night clawing her heart out. 

Too much of drink and heat was making her dizzy. Brenna was off somewhere with her boyfriend and Hazel was kissing a guy nearby. I was on high alert with my human drunk. She was being this carefree after a long time.

Suddenly my fear came to life and Evan walked towards her. I got ready for a fight.

“Babe, you look a little tipsy.” He said sounding unusually concerned.

His arms encircled around her waist and held her steady. I burned with rage.

She tried to give him a light push but her energy was all drained away so she pouted at her trying to show her annoyance but being incredibly cute unintentionally.

Patience is not my forte and I am sort of temperamental. So naturally I stepped in.

Before I could threaten the guy or in my opinion punch the guy dead, something incredible happened.

“Xander, Please make him go away.” For a moment my anger drained away replaced by adoration, pleasure and surprise on hearing my name from her mouth.

She gave me a pleading look with her big brown eyes, a look that could melt thousand ice bergs at once and sent my heart racing. She was drunk and she was very dangerous right now.

“Evan let her go. I will take her home.” I said as calmly as possible.

“She is my girlfriend, dude you don’t bother with what she does?” He came one step ahead as if to threaten me.

“You mean ex-girlfriend?” I taunted.

Before Evan could vent out his anger and I could kick his butt, she used her beanie as weapon and hit Evan as hard as she could manage.

“Leave Evan, I am not your babe. Ew, Evan who calls anyone a babe nowadays, it’s so cheesy.” She said that and giggled hysterically.

Evan let go of her in surprise and certain level of embarrassment. He left mumbling something in anger. As soon as he let go she started shuddering and was about to fumble on the ground, if I hadn’t caught her. And my every nerve was alive, electrified.

This was my fantasy come true, she was in my arms. Her back was arched back and her hair hung loose in air behind her like a dark water fall. She pulled herself up with a sudden force and now she was centimetres apart from me. My mind solely focused on her lips and her furiously blushing cheeks.

I gripped harder on my noble angel side and stopped myself from kissing her right then.

“Freya, are you alright?” I asked, shaking her a bit.

I pulled her away from the wild crowd; she was not drunk she was wasted. She really wanted to let go of her worries.

The moon was shining and she glistened under the moonlight. She was slightly smiling in drunken stupor. It was a good thing my both arms held her or else I would have traced her pink, full lips.

“Alexander, even your name is princely. Why are you always there to protect me?” She asked lifting her chin to face me and grabbed my shirt from collar.

She was slipping but she held on to the shirt.

“Because you are always in trouble.” I managed a simple answer.

It was excruciatingly painful for me to hold her this close, she being cocky and adorable at same time. Fate was testing me.

“No Alexander, tell me why you are always there. Even when no one knew you were there, why are you always in front of me like a shield to defend me against anything bad?” She asked me with sincerity, her voice soft and pleading.

“Because you are so pure and naive and I want nothing to hurt you.” I told partial truth.

As if I was not in pain already that her soft fingers reached out and touched my eye lids with so much care and gentleness as if it was something precious.

I winced at her gesture, my breathing getting heavier.

“But those eyes, they are my violet eyes, the one that come in my dream the one that protected me.” She said caressing my lids.

I closed my eyes and sighed. Drunken Freya was a nuclear weapon, deadly dangerous.

“Freya, calm down and I will get you some water.” I tried to lightly push her away before I lose myself.

But for a fragile girl she held on.

This night was taking a precarious turn; I needed my own guardian angel to protect me from doing something rash in heat of passion.

Suddenly she buried her head in my chest, her hand still on my collar. I am a Guardian Angel, I am a Guardian Angel... I chanted to myself. It was not this hard even when I was a nasty rebel in heaven.

Now I understood about girl being your doom part.

“I was scared Alexander, for too long but how come I feel so secure around you, so warm and like home?” She mumbled her head still down.

I remained silent, surprised to know her feeling. It was a good thing, slightly that she drank. I came to know that she trusted him, at least a bit.

“You have a weird effect on me. I am scared of relationship and closeness Alexander please stay away from me.” She requested and my hurt wrenched at her words and look in her eyes.

She was sharing her feelings for the first time. But I couldn’t afford to listen more, it was distracting for me and she might bluter out something I don’t want to hear, like her last request.

I knew she will get over her fears built by that night’s incident. She really believed somewhere in her mind that I was her angel.

I lifted her head up and looked into her fathomless brown eyes, filled with innocence and questions. My eyes scanned her cheeks and then it trailed down to her lips. It rested there for a moment.

“Are you going to kiss me?” She asked, anticipated in a low soft voice.

“Freya when I am about to kiss you, you will know.”

I decided that if I was to kiss my human it would be when she will remember it. I closed my eyes and got ready to cure of her drunkenness.

It took all my power and I am saying this as an angel, to let go of the dream snuggled in my arms.